Coming To Terms With a Holy Shit Realization

Like millions of women across the world, I have read and re-read the "Fifty Shades" trilogy because it was not only a good read but made me quite curious as to this "other world," you might say. Then, I came to the realization that all those spankings and whippings I've endured from my grandparents for my bad behavior had an effect on me. It left a deep scar on me, one which I am quite indifferent to. I am neither adamant nor at peace with it. I am rather confused by it. Well, let's just cut to the chase...getting spanked and beaten, even as a grown ass woman, has become quite a major league baseball turn on for me. For this, I am not the least bit sorry. There are people who enjoy this kind of lifestyle, myself included. But, like all of them, I have both my hard and soft limits. I would like to get spanked, preferably by hand, crop, flogger and strap. However, you try to stick a lit cigarette or cigar into me I will fucking kill you with my bare hands, bonded or not. Hard limit! VERY hard limit! Getting tied up? Not a problem! I'm all for it! Blind folded? No qualms! Just no auto eroticism, or strangle for sexual gratification because we lost two great people to that shit. Now this entry is very,very XXX rated for those who do read it, but I am no longer being shy about my tendencies and my transgressions as a human being. Love me, hate me, condemn, condone me, whatever. This is who I am, take me or leave me. I am not ashamed of it! As a matter of fact, I throw ALL caution to the wind completely! I am as, Mother Monster says' "Born This Way," then there it is. I am this way regardless of what might have occurred in my life and if I was born to endure humility. With that said, I am on the right track, baby, and was born this way. If I am meant to be a mixture of both a Submissive and a Dominant, then so be it. Tie me down or have me tie someone else down, it is the way of the Force. I guess things were meant to move in this direction. There! I've said it! I'm out as a Dom/Sub! A mixture of the two! Fix to be tied, but willing to tie other men myself! Haha! I feel so much better about myself. Like it, don't like it? So what? I'm being honest! Have a nice day!