A few months ago, I was introduced to The Fifty Shades Trilogy. Now, at first, I was very reluctant and for a reason: I hated Romance novels and all things Romantic in nature. Having just gotten out of a bad relationship, Romance had become the furthest thing from my mind. I had forgo dreams of being kissed by a handsome prince and being whisked away into my happily ever after. I put all thoughts of love and happiness into a storage bin and kicked it into the dark corner of my mind to let it gather dust and cobwebs. After the shit my ex put me through, I wanted nothing more to do with Romance let alone read it.
However, once I read through the trilogy, I found myself reading it again and again and again and again. Then, before I knew it, I was recommending it to everybody, including my co-workers and strangers on the street. I found myself even buying duplicate copies of all three books because when I would lend it out I found myself missing it and wanting to read it yet again. It got so bad that I now had to psyche myself into diving into a literary database at work to try and find something similar.
Then, good fortune struck in a post on my Facebook timeline from a good friend from high school. She recommended that I read "Bared To You" by Sylvia Day. So, finding that I could not get it at work because it was on hold, I impatiently ran out during lunch and got the book. And, like The Fifty Shades Trilogy, I found myself reading this one again and again and again and again.
Once again, I found myself in need of yet another similar read. So, one day after work, I ventured into Barnes and Noble to buy a magazine. I turn to see a display and saw the following: If you liked Fifty Shades of Grey, then you will like... It was the book "Gabriel's Inferno" and its sequal "Gabriel's Rapture" by Sylvain Reynard. I finished these two within 72 hours. And, like before, read it again and again and again.
Yes, I will admit that my latest fixation on Romance novels has become, as the title of this blog says, my proverbial crack. I am now addicted to books that I had vowed to avoid reading at all costs. Books that I had earlier admonished for catering to the fantasies of Lonely, Single Women and Desperate, Bored Housewives. Books I chalked up to being nothing but schlock that ALL women wish would happen to them in real life. I would fantasize about having a huge bonfire consisting of nothing but these crap books. Now, the thought is no longer entertained.
Now, some men may feel that by their girlfriends or wives reading these books that this renders them insignificant as a lover. I don't think they do. They just take us away from reality temporarily. It's not that you're bad in the sack or if you have Micro-Penis that you cannot satisfy them. It's just our pornography of choice.
For the men reading this, I ask you this: Playboy, Penthouse or Hustler? Which of these magazines do you look at when you are in your bathroom rubbing one off while you have Metallica blaring in hopes to mask your cries of fantastical pleasure while you look at a woman other than the one you're with? Answer that one for me! And some of you have the audacity to get pissed off at us for reading a trilogy of books because all of us women fantasize about having our very own Christian Grey! You can masturbate while looking at another woman in a magazine, but if we read about another guy in a book you get pissed with us! If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, then I don't what it is! Stop admonishing us for what we read and we won't admonish you for yours! Let us have our porn and we will gladly let you keep yours in whatever spot you have it hidden in!
There, I've made a case for us women. Now I'm going back to my current read. Good night!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Tania Head: Whoever You Are, How Could You?!
As a child, I grew up in the town of Bayonne, New Jersey. Bayonne is situated not more than ten to fifteen minutes away from New York City, particularly the Holland Tunnel. As a child, I grew up looking at the Twin Towers. I had the honor of going up to Windows on the World and the Observation Deck. I even had dreams of even flying from the very top of Tower Two over New York City, looking down at the little ants that were people.
On September 11th 2001, I was working as a merchandise hostess at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I woke up one beautiful, warm Florida morning to turn on Telemundo and find that Tower One was on fire. I was startled and I called my mom to know what was happening only to find my call abrubtly cut off. I tried calling again only to find the lines were jammed. I began to fear the absolute worst: What if my youngest cousins were in the towers on a class trip? What if my uncle or aunt was there for something important? All the what ifs you can ever imagine. Then, when I saw the first tower collapse that I made the decision to go to work. In a car that was overheating, I was delivered the sudden shock of the second tower breaking down. I almost crashed into a gate before I regained control and informed a guardsman that both towers were now gone. He wept as he told me he knew. I parked my car, boarded a bus and went to work whilst consoling many cast members who were, like me, from the New York/New Jersey area. Many of those who have attempted tons of time to try and contact their loved ones.
I remember 9/11/01 EXTREMELY VIVIDLY! I grew up not very far from the World Trade Center and even flew home to see family I had, initially, thought I had lost. Thankfully, they are alive. The scent of burning jet fuel and decay haunts me to this very day. When September 11th comes around, the scent returns and it frightens me. I cannot even look at photographs that I, and, family members have taken without being reduced to tears.
But, there is one thing that has sickened me, and that is the disgusting and very disgraceful and disrespectful deception of a woman named Alicia Esteve Head, otherwise known as Tania Head. She claimed to have been a 9/11 Widow when, in truth, she was not a widow at all. She was, in fact, a business student in Spain at the very time when 9/11 happened. She took advantage of this very, very, very, VERY critical time in our country's history to claim she was (and not at all!) a 9/11 widow to someone who had died, but did not know her from Adam. She gained influence by being a supposed 9/11 widow, when, in truth, she was not one at all. She even became President (get THAT!) president of the 9/11 Survivors Society when, in truth, she never was one whatsoever! She gained the trust of MANY, MANY, MANY people, including Mayors Giuliani and Bloomberg, in due, deep respect! She had no shame, whatsoever! She knew the sham she was playing and she learned from the best: Her own family, who had been shamed by their own con in their respective country of Spain.
Tania Head, or whoever you truly are, how dare you?! How DARE you?! You conned people into thinking that you lost someone you supposedly loved, but NEVER knew, that you survived the collapse of the World Trade Center and, in some twist of fate, lost your fiance and, somehow, was saved by someone who did not know of your identity at all, to the collapse. I just have one question to ask of you: HOW DARE YOU?! You are not even a citizen of this country! You have not even lived five SECONDS in New York City! However, you have claimed that you had met, fallen in love and have become ENGAGED to someone you had never even met in your entire life! Please give me an explaination why I should even believe anthing you've have told the media?!
I think you still, to this day, still continue to believe your own lies. I think that you still think of yourself as a 9/11 widow. However, as a novice journalist, I believe you are definitely not. You are nothing but a con artist torn out of the same fabric as your father and your brothers. To this day, I will never, ever, EVER believe a word you utter out of your own mouth. Take my words as a compliment rather than an insult. I was born here, raised here, grew up with the World Trade Center in my back yard. Unlike you, I will always, ALWAYS, see those two towers hovering over me from where I stood on 43 East 51st Street in Bayonne, New Jersey, Hudson County. Unlike you, who grew up in the exotics of Spain who were rarely afforded such a beautiful, blissfull, lovely sight as the blues of the Meditteranean Seas. I, unlike you, was given the afforded pleasure of seeing two of the most extraodrinary, exciting, beautiful and most fascinating structure of the modern times in my own backyard whilst swimming my grandparents' swimming pool.
Tania, or whoever you are, you might have conned many into believing your lies, but you will not cheat me out of my positive childhood of having to go into my own backyard and see those magnificent silver towers hover over me in the distance. It's tragic and sad you did not get to see them as I did very frequently as a little girl, but it sickens me that you pretended to be one of us who has suffered like I have. I miss those towers over the horizon of the New York City skyline as much as I miss my grandparents tremendously. You duped so many, yet you still think of yourself as one. However, you are definitely not one of us. You are a sham! A dupe! A total lie! Stop believing in your lies and start in believing in your true self, for what you are, for the liar you are. You were never, ever, part of this terrible tragedy that has affected my country. You would like to think so, but you're believing your own lies. It may have not have happened to, but it happened to my country. We were affected directly, you were not whatsoever. You might like to think so, but that is something you, your delusions and God will have to contend with.
I am extrodinarily affected by what happened on 9/11/2001 immensely and it has affected me on my own mentality. I cannot look at the skyline of New York City the same way, not without tears. It makes me sad, very sad, to see the two Silver Castles (as I referred to them) missing from them. This Tuesday, September 11th, 2012, I will be in Liberty State Park standing there in tears remembering how, as a little girl, my grandparents would take me there to look at them and admire at how they dominated the skies. However, I will be in tears.
On September 11th 2001, I was working as a merchandise hostess at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I woke up one beautiful, warm Florida morning to turn on Telemundo and find that Tower One was on fire. I was startled and I called my mom to know what was happening only to find my call abrubtly cut off. I tried calling again only to find the lines were jammed. I began to fear the absolute worst: What if my youngest cousins were in the towers on a class trip? What if my uncle or aunt was there for something important? All the what ifs you can ever imagine. Then, when I saw the first tower collapse that I made the decision to go to work. In a car that was overheating, I was delivered the sudden shock of the second tower breaking down. I almost crashed into a gate before I regained control and informed a guardsman that both towers were now gone. He wept as he told me he knew. I parked my car, boarded a bus and went to work whilst consoling many cast members who were, like me, from the New York/New Jersey area. Many of those who have attempted tons of time to try and contact their loved ones.
I remember 9/11/01 EXTREMELY VIVIDLY! I grew up not very far from the World Trade Center and even flew home to see family I had, initially, thought I had lost. Thankfully, they are alive. The scent of burning jet fuel and decay haunts me to this very day. When September 11th comes around, the scent returns and it frightens me. I cannot even look at photographs that I, and, family members have taken without being reduced to tears.
But, there is one thing that has sickened me, and that is the disgusting and very disgraceful and disrespectful deception of a woman named Alicia Esteve Head, otherwise known as Tania Head. She claimed to have been a 9/11 Widow when, in truth, she was not a widow at all. She was, in fact, a business student in Spain at the very time when 9/11 happened. She took advantage of this very, very, very, VERY critical time in our country's history to claim she was (and not at all!) a 9/11 widow to someone who had died, but did not know her from Adam. She gained influence by being a supposed 9/11 widow, when, in truth, she was not one at all. She even became President (get THAT!) president of the 9/11 Survivors Society when, in truth, she never was one whatsoever! She gained the trust of MANY, MANY, MANY people, including Mayors Giuliani and Bloomberg, in due, deep respect! She had no shame, whatsoever! She knew the sham she was playing and she learned from the best: Her own family, who had been shamed by their own con in their respective country of Spain.
Tania Head, or whoever you truly are, how dare you?! How DARE you?! You conned people into thinking that you lost someone you supposedly loved, but NEVER knew, that you survived the collapse of the World Trade Center and, in some twist of fate, lost your fiance and, somehow, was saved by someone who did not know of your identity at all, to the collapse. I just have one question to ask of you: HOW DARE YOU?! You are not even a citizen of this country! You have not even lived five SECONDS in New York City! However, you have claimed that you had met, fallen in love and have become ENGAGED to someone you had never even met in your entire life! Please give me an explaination why I should even believe anthing you've have told the media?!
I think you still, to this day, still continue to believe your own lies. I think that you still think of yourself as a 9/11 widow. However, as a novice journalist, I believe you are definitely not. You are nothing but a con artist torn out of the same fabric as your father and your brothers. To this day, I will never, ever, EVER believe a word you utter out of your own mouth. Take my words as a compliment rather than an insult. I was born here, raised here, grew up with the World Trade Center in my back yard. Unlike you, I will always, ALWAYS, see those two towers hovering over me from where I stood on 43 East 51st Street in Bayonne, New Jersey, Hudson County. Unlike you, who grew up in the exotics of Spain who were rarely afforded such a beautiful, blissfull, lovely sight as the blues of the Meditteranean Seas. I, unlike you, was given the afforded pleasure of seeing two of the most extraodrinary, exciting, beautiful and most fascinating structure of the modern times in my own backyard whilst swimming my grandparents' swimming pool.
Tania, or whoever you are, you might have conned many into believing your lies, but you will not cheat me out of my positive childhood of having to go into my own backyard and see those magnificent silver towers hover over me in the distance. It's tragic and sad you did not get to see them as I did very frequently as a little girl, but it sickens me that you pretended to be one of us who has suffered like I have. I miss those towers over the horizon of the New York City skyline as much as I miss my grandparents tremendously. You duped so many, yet you still think of yourself as one. However, you are definitely not one of us. You are a sham! A dupe! A total lie! Stop believing in your lies and start in believing in your true self, for what you are, for the liar you are. You were never, ever, part of this terrible tragedy that has affected my country. You would like to think so, but you're believing your own lies. It may have not have happened to, but it happened to my country. We were affected directly, you were not whatsoever. You might like to think so, but that is something you, your delusions and God will have to contend with.
I am extrodinarily affected by what happened on 9/11/2001 immensely and it has affected me on my own mentality. I cannot look at the skyline of New York City the same way, not without tears. It makes me sad, very sad, to see the two Silver Castles (as I referred to them) missing from them. This Tuesday, September 11th, 2012, I will be in Liberty State Park standing there in tears remembering how, as a little girl, my grandparents would take me there to look at them and admire at how they dominated the skies. However, I will be in tears.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Velma's All Too Brilliant Idea To Curb Cheating Men!
I just recently came up with a brand new product for women who have problems with their man cheating on them. I call this product GPPS, which stands for Global Penis Positioning System. You know how they have Lo-Jack for your car? Well, why not take the same technology and use it for the better good of keeping and maintaining relationships. Now, what does this device do exactly? Well, once you find out your spouse has cheated on you, don't go postal. Don't toss all his shit onto the front lawn like you would see in an all trailer trash episode of "Cops." Put away the baseball bat and razor that you're going to use to fuck up his car. Just call up his doctor and make an appointment to have a routine physical and while he's checking his junk he will insert a microchip into either the penis itself or behind one of his huevos. How will his doctor insert it without him knowing? Well, that part I'm still working on, but I do know a small needle is involved.
And now that you've got your man fitted with GPPS, you are now letting him, and to borrow from a certain commercial, "free to move about the country." And there is a bonus to this! You get a free download of the GPPS Mobile App for your Blackberry, Droid or iPhone. That way, when you want to go on vacation or go to work you can keep track of his junk. You go on a weekend in Vegas with your girlfriends, all you gotta do is just turn on the App and see if he's at a place you know he never goes to. And if he does happen to be at said place, this is where the fun really begins.
If you see that he is at an address that you know is not your own or that of his closest family members, you can let off a loud and annoying pinging sound similar to that of a radar on a submarine that will inform him and those around him that you have located his junk.
Another neat feature and this is similar to what they put in bait cars to kill the engine. However, the only engine you're killing is his ability to get it up. I call it the "Showstopper" device. Your handy, dandy mobile app will set off an alert, kind of like a siren going off. This will let you know that he is getting wood from something other than you. Once you get the alert, you will go to the Options menu and press the "Showstopper" button. This will send a quick 25,000 volt jolt to his package, thus stopping the erection dead in its tracks.
Now you ask what happens if you two break up? No problem! The microchip will stay in place and you have passed all the technology down to the next person. You can keep the Mobile App if you find yourself drunk and bitter and in the mood to fuck with his goods a little further!
And now I await TomTom or Garmin to contact me for my all too brilliant idea!
And now that you've got your man fitted with GPPS, you are now letting him, and to borrow from a certain commercial, "free to move about the country." And there is a bonus to this! You get a free download of the GPPS Mobile App for your Blackberry, Droid or iPhone. That way, when you want to go on vacation or go to work you can keep track of his junk. You go on a weekend in Vegas with your girlfriends, all you gotta do is just turn on the App and see if he's at a place you know he never goes to. And if he does happen to be at said place, this is where the fun really begins.
If you see that he is at an address that you know is not your own or that of his closest family members, you can let off a loud and annoying pinging sound similar to that of a radar on a submarine that will inform him and those around him that you have located his junk.
Another neat feature and this is similar to what they put in bait cars to kill the engine. However, the only engine you're killing is his ability to get it up. I call it the "Showstopper" device. Your handy, dandy mobile app will set off an alert, kind of like a siren going off. This will let you know that he is getting wood from something other than you. Once you get the alert, you will go to the Options menu and press the "Showstopper" button. This will send a quick 25,000 volt jolt to his package, thus stopping the erection dead in its tracks.
Now you ask what happens if you two break up? No problem! The microchip will stay in place and you have passed all the technology down to the next person. You can keep the Mobile App if you find yourself drunk and bitter and in the mood to fuck with his goods a little further!
And now I await TomTom or Garmin to contact me for my all too brilliant idea!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Coming To Terms With a Holy Shit Realization
Like millions of women across the world, I have read and re-read the "Fifty Shades" trilogy because it was not only a good read but made me quite curious as to this "other world," you might say. Then, I came to the realization that all those spankings and whippings I've endured from my grandparents for my bad behavior had an effect on me. It left a deep scar on me, one which I am quite indifferent to. I am neither adamant nor at peace with it. I am rather confused by it. Well, let's just cut to the chase...getting spanked and beaten, even as a grown ass woman, has become quite a major league baseball turn on for me. For this, I am not the least bit sorry. There are people who enjoy this kind of lifestyle, myself included. But, like all of them, I have both my hard and soft limits. I would like to get spanked, preferably by hand, crop, flogger and strap. However, you try to stick a lit cigarette or cigar into me I will fucking kill you with my bare hands, bonded or not. Hard limit! VERY hard limit! Getting tied up? Not a problem! I'm all for it! Blind folded? No qualms! Just no auto eroticism, or strangle for sexual gratification because we lost two great people to that shit.
Now this entry is very,very XXX rated for those who do read it, but I am no longer being shy about my tendencies and my transgressions as a human being. Love me, hate me, condemn, condone me, whatever. This is who I am, take me or leave me. I am not ashamed of it! As a matter of fact, I throw ALL caution to the wind completely! I am as, Mother Monster says' "Born This Way," then there it is. I am this way regardless of what might have occurred in my life and if I was born to endure humility.
With that said, I am on the right track, baby, and was born this way. If I am meant to be a mixture of both a Submissive and a Dominant, then so be it. Tie me down or have me tie someone else down, it is the way of the Force. I guess things were meant to move in this direction.
There! I've said it! I'm out as a Dom/Sub! A mixture of the two! Fix to be tied, but willing to tie other men myself! Haha! I feel so much better about myself. Like it, don't like it? So what? I'm being honest! Have a nice day!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Dos and Donts to Paranormal Investigations
I recently have returned from investigating the Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky. I enjoyed this trip immensely and have found that not only is the place extremely active, but I have felt and heard some of the spirits that are there. The first night, which was a private, 8-hour investigation, went off without a hitch. As expected because it was just 13 of us and we all dressed the part of true blue investigators, we earned the respect of the owners of Waverly Hills. We wore clothing that was comfortable. We wore sneakers/tennis shoes, socks, the whole thing. For example, in one case, four of us took turns laying inside a body tray inside the Morgue of this vast building where thousands died from Tuberculosis. We did this willingly, knowing that fleas were definitely bound to be in there due to furry creatures inhabiting it before we laid in it. Don't worry, we showered heavily soon after.
To my friends and fellow investigators, we kicked some serious ass that first night as well as the second night. However, I now must gripe about the second night so to this I apologize in advance. If you must, feel free to contact me via Twitter to add anything more to this. So here we go: The Dos and Donts to Paranormal Investigations.
DO: Wear comfortable clothing whenever you go out to a location. If you are going into an abandoned building and it's either warm or cold out, it is best to bring along either a jacket, hoodie or sweater to keep warm with. Even a windbreaker, if you've got one. Rain ponchos I wouldn't recommend because in the dark you're going to look like a shadow figure, or a walking oversized condom.
DON'T: Wear clothing that is suitable more for the Boardwalk than Investigations. It was on this second night that I had to bear witness to one of the BIGGEST violations to Paranormal Investigating attire. This young GIRL (not WOMAN!) stepped out of this truck and had on a pair of shorty shorts. Uhm, at which point, if I had been part of her group I would have informed her, NOT kindly but in a very curt way, to go home and put on a pair of jeans. Wearing shorty shorts is something one should wear when going to the beach, not to an investigation.
DO: Wear comfortable shoes. For example, sneakers, or tennis shoes, with comfortable, breathable socks. Why do I suggest this? Because they are, I feel, the best piece of footwear to wear to any paranormal investigation, whether it's hot or cold, indoor or outdoor. I have a very well-worn, but trusting pair of Skechers that have served me well from my very first investigation up to these two nights I had at Waverly Hills. I will continue to use them until they finally give and fall apart into dust.
DON'T: Wear squeaky shoes, tap shoes, ballet shoes, or Flip Flops to an investigation. As I stated before in the Don't on clothing, these types of shoes are to be worn in certain places. In this case, the offending shoes worn were Flip Flops. Yes, you heard me. Someone ACTUALLY wore FLIP FLOPS to a paranormal investigation. This was also the exact same person who wore the Shorty Shorts. And, again I must say, I would have told her to go home and put on a pair of sneakers in addition to jeans. This is an investigation, not a Dougie contest, BITCH!! Are you at the Shore or are you at Waverly Hills? PICK ONE!!
DO: Refrain from wearing any perfume or cologne while on investigation. Paranormal experiences can happen in various ways. Your five senses are involved, including your sense of smell. So, in order to gain a better paranormal experience we now move on to...
DON'T: Wear perfume or cologne to an investigation. On the second night, a fellow investigator pointed out to me that someone was wearing cologne. To this, I hung my head and shook it rather vigorously. Even I, who has had nearly two years under her belt, knows better than to wear her Burberry Body perfume to an investigation. This will throw not only yourself, but others investigating off completely and have them thinking that a spirit is in their presence by the mere whiff of your perfume or cologne. In this case, Drakkar Noir threw us almost all of us under the bus.
DO: Refrain from consuming any alcoholic beverages before conducting a paranormal investigation. Now, I am not asking you to abstain from the sauce for the rest of your lives, but for just one night, I beg. You want to go in clean and sober and knowing your Mel-Meter from your Digital Recorder.
DON'T: Consume large amounts of alcohol prior to an investigation. And now...oy vey...I go back to the Shorty Short, Flip Flop girl. In addition to being offensively underdressed, she was also quite intoxicated. If you want to be taken seriously as a paranormal investigator, please do not imbibe on a Six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) prior to going in and coming out with your professional opinion on whether or not a place is active. This is kind of like hiring a plumber to come and inspect your pipes and he shows up Blitzkrieg Bop drunk off his ass and tells you all is well while your basement slowly becomes your own indoor pool.
DO: Research your history on the site you will be conducting your investigation. I cannot tell you how much this has been stressed to me by not only myself, but by those whom I have learned from in this field. You must, must, must know your history. For example, room 502 of Waverly Hills was where two nurses had died. One of which had hung herself. I knew to read and re-read the history that was furnished to me by the lead investigator and from research I had done prior to my arrival at the location.
DON'T: Get your history nor your rooms mixed up. When me and the group were done conducting our investigation on the second floor, we headed down and saw that the group who had been conducting their "investigation" (IF I can call it THAT!) were reviewing their evidence on the spot. They were excited about capturing something inside of a room where they had conducted "Electric Shock Therapy." But, when they left, it turns out that the room they were in was NOT the Electric Shock Therapy room. Turns out to be a room entirely different. Once again, I hang my head and mourn the death of intelligence and, from the proverbial ashes of this mentally challenged Phoenix, rises STUPIDITY!
In conclusion, if you are interested in being taken seriously in the field of Paranormal Investigation, please follow these rules and don't make me have to bitch smack you or yell at you like a Drill Sargeant. I conduct myself in a serious manner in this field and do not treat it like a joke. If you are trying to impress someone, do your research before you know what you're getting into and stop trying to feign interest. You're just making serious female investigators such as myself look incredibly bad. Take your shorty shorts, your flip flops and your drunken ass out of this building and back home.
Velma has left the building. Thank you and good night!
To my friends and fellow investigators, we kicked some serious ass that first night as well as the second night. However, I now must gripe about the second night so to this I apologize in advance. If you must, feel free to contact me via Twitter to add anything more to this. So here we go: The Dos and Donts to Paranormal Investigations.
DO: Wear comfortable clothing whenever you go out to a location. If you are going into an abandoned building and it's either warm or cold out, it is best to bring along either a jacket, hoodie or sweater to keep warm with. Even a windbreaker, if you've got one. Rain ponchos I wouldn't recommend because in the dark you're going to look like a shadow figure, or a walking oversized condom.
DON'T: Wear clothing that is suitable more for the Boardwalk than Investigations. It was on this second night that I had to bear witness to one of the BIGGEST violations to Paranormal Investigating attire. This young GIRL (not WOMAN!) stepped out of this truck and had on a pair of shorty shorts. Uhm, at which point, if I had been part of her group I would have informed her, NOT kindly but in a very curt way, to go home and put on a pair of jeans. Wearing shorty shorts is something one should wear when going to the beach, not to an investigation.
DO: Wear comfortable shoes. For example, sneakers, or tennis shoes, with comfortable, breathable socks. Why do I suggest this? Because they are, I feel, the best piece of footwear to wear to any paranormal investigation, whether it's hot or cold, indoor or outdoor. I have a very well-worn, but trusting pair of Skechers that have served me well from my very first investigation up to these two nights I had at Waverly Hills. I will continue to use them until they finally give and fall apart into dust.
DON'T: Wear squeaky shoes, tap shoes, ballet shoes, or Flip Flops to an investigation. As I stated before in the Don't on clothing, these types of shoes are to be worn in certain places. In this case, the offending shoes worn were Flip Flops. Yes, you heard me. Someone ACTUALLY wore FLIP FLOPS to a paranormal investigation. This was also the exact same person who wore the Shorty Shorts. And, again I must say, I would have told her to go home and put on a pair of sneakers in addition to jeans. This is an investigation, not a Dougie contest, BITCH!! Are you at the Shore or are you at Waverly Hills? PICK ONE!!
DO: Refrain from wearing any perfume or cologne while on investigation. Paranormal experiences can happen in various ways. Your five senses are involved, including your sense of smell. So, in order to gain a better paranormal experience we now move on to...
DON'T: Wear perfume or cologne to an investigation. On the second night, a fellow investigator pointed out to me that someone was wearing cologne. To this, I hung my head and shook it rather vigorously. Even I, who has had nearly two years under her belt, knows better than to wear her Burberry Body perfume to an investigation. This will throw not only yourself, but others investigating off completely and have them thinking that a spirit is in their presence by the mere whiff of your perfume or cologne. In this case, Drakkar Noir threw us almost all of us under the bus.
DO: Refrain from consuming any alcoholic beverages before conducting a paranormal investigation. Now, I am not asking you to abstain from the sauce for the rest of your lives, but for just one night, I beg. You want to go in clean and sober and knowing your Mel-Meter from your Digital Recorder.
DON'T: Consume large amounts of alcohol prior to an investigation. And now...oy vey...I go back to the Shorty Short, Flip Flop girl. In addition to being offensively underdressed, she was also quite intoxicated. If you want to be taken seriously as a paranormal investigator, please do not imbibe on a Six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) prior to going in and coming out with your professional opinion on whether or not a place is active. This is kind of like hiring a plumber to come and inspect your pipes and he shows up Blitzkrieg Bop drunk off his ass and tells you all is well while your basement slowly becomes your own indoor pool.
DO: Research your history on the site you will be conducting your investigation. I cannot tell you how much this has been stressed to me by not only myself, but by those whom I have learned from in this field. You must, must, must know your history. For example, room 502 of Waverly Hills was where two nurses had died. One of which had hung herself. I knew to read and re-read the history that was furnished to me by the lead investigator and from research I had done prior to my arrival at the location.
DON'T: Get your history nor your rooms mixed up. When me and the group were done conducting our investigation on the second floor, we headed down and saw that the group who had been conducting their "investigation" (IF I can call it THAT!) were reviewing their evidence on the spot. They were excited about capturing something inside of a room where they had conducted "Electric Shock Therapy." But, when they left, it turns out that the room they were in was NOT the Electric Shock Therapy room. Turns out to be a room entirely different. Once again, I hang my head and mourn the death of intelligence and, from the proverbial ashes of this mentally challenged Phoenix, rises STUPIDITY!
In conclusion, if you are interested in being taken seriously in the field of Paranormal Investigation, please follow these rules and don't make me have to bitch smack you or yell at you like a Drill Sargeant. I conduct myself in a serious manner in this field and do not treat it like a joke. If you are trying to impress someone, do your research before you know what you're getting into and stop trying to feign interest. You're just making serious female investigators such as myself look incredibly bad. Take your shorty shorts, your flip flops and your drunken ass out of this building and back home.
Velma has left the building. Thank you and good night!
Monday, June 11, 2012
September 11th 2001: My EXACT Memories!
Now I am going to touch on this extremely bloody day in American history. I remember where I was, what I was doing and my exact location. I had relocated to Orlando, Florida to work for Walt Disney World for experience, college wise. What a beautiful one! At least until that very day in 2001! I remember waking up and turning on the television and seeing that it was in Spaglish! I did not know what to do, other than just go to work. I saw it all! The smoke, the plane, everything! I saw people leaping out of the towers to escape a fate worse than hell! It's not a sight to dwell on! Not at all!
I remember being a small child and my mother taking me to Liberty State Park to let me gaze upon the World Trade Center. I wanted to live there at some part, but that was extremely far-fetched! I remembered my grandpa taking me to Windows on The World for dinner once. I have, regretfully, no memory of this and weep that I should have remembered this. Jesus!
September 11th has affected me to my extreme core. I grew up close to the Towers and could almost touch them, literally. For those who praise that they fell in praise of Allah I want to beat the crap out of! To kill in the name of GOD is unacceptable and makes me sick to my stomach! I won't apologize for my feelings because this is how I feel. I am not going to apologize for how my heart feels! Fuck you! You try living in a row house within leg distance of the Trade Center distance and see how you feel! I stand on the driveway of where I used to live and weep for those who didn't have to die. I see them very, very, very clearly on that September day jumping voluntarily out of those windows! Just to escape an inevitable fate of death! It is an extremely haunting and disturbing image to have embedded in your mind! It's carved into my head PERMANENTLY! I can't forget it no matter how I try! I see them leaping out of the windows! I see them begging GOD to forgive them of their sins! I see it all! It is extremely disheartening to me to remember this painful day. An all too painful day!
My cousins, Melissa and Megan, were the very first on my mind when those planes went into those Towers. They are my blood through and through regardless. I love them even though I feel they do not have a care for me even when I sob for them to be safe. I believe in unconditional love and to believe in KARMA. Melissa and Megan, I DO LOVE YOU! With my entire heart! You. Are. My. Family. I love you both with my heart! I feel empty without your voices telling me for advice.
I am here no matter what! I love you both!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Formerly Fat: Ten Years On
Today marks ten years since I started my journey. To me, this doesn't feel weird or awkward at all. The feelings I am having towards this is one of pride. Pride in myself that I did it. That I went from being trapped inside a body that wasn't me to this beautiful person, both internally and externally.
And, as promised, here is me on the tenth anniversary of my long journey. I am so proud of me.
And, as promised, here is me on the tenth anniversary of my long journey. I am so proud of me.
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