Clear Heels and REM-Pods Don't Mix!

  I was cruising Twitter like I always do and I see a post that just...just...ugh...just sent me into full on Foamy mode.  What is Foamy mode for me?  It's when I go off on a high-pitched rant about things that are pissing me off.  Now, for those of you who have had the privilege of meeting me in person, you know that I speak my mind on things that piss me off.  And I have many levels just as Gabriel Iglesias has his Six Levels of Fat.  Well, for me personally, I have Six Levels of Pissed Off.  Here it goes:

1)  Annoyed:  I roll my eyes and ignore it.
2)  Irritated:  I don't speak and have a permanent scowl on my face.
3)  Aggravated:  Still scowling and doing 100 mph on the road.
4)  Beyond Angered:  I am ready to go and purchase an axe at the hardware store.
5)  Foamy:  Go off on a rant till the vein pops out of my head.
6)  Kinison/Carlin:  Chew you out until you run crying for your mama.

This Twitter post was one step away from Kinison/Carlin and it's rare of me to go Kinison/Carlin unless you do something that I find out of line, outrageous and just plain wrong.  So, I am compelled as you no doubt to write this post.

There are many, many paranormal groups out there in the world.  A lot of them are getting their start, a lot are already established and accredited, but a relative handful get to be on television.  However, this is about those who are starting out.  There is a group out there, and I will keep them anonymous because I don't want to get sued.  Don't take me wrong, if I do get sued, I will tell the judge to look at them and kindly consider the facts in this post.  I am sure I will win and then, when all is said and done, POW!  Small claims court...for the time they made me spend on that libel case!  Karma, bitch!

Now back to the subject at hand, there is this group out there and their tactic for getting attention is the following phrase:  Sex sells.  And they are good at it, but they are making us serious female investigators look bad.  I went to an event and saw that they were wearing daisy dukes, high heels and showing off their torsos.  And they had the sand to call themselves investigators?!  I understand sex sells, but this is going way out of proportion. 

When I do an investigation, I find that wearing heels is totally unacceptable and should not be worn.  Think of all the audio contamination!  I mean, c'mon!

**CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK**

"I caught a strange clicking noise on my digital recorder!  There's a ghost there!"

"No, it was Yvette in her 5 inch stilettos!"

So out with the goddamn heels in regards to investigations!  Just stick to sneakers or boots.  And tag your audio evidence, for fuck sake!

And these mini dresses and shorty shorts and daisy dukes and shit, you've got to be fucking kidding me!  God forbid you should put on a pair of jeans!  Oh, and now you're cold?  Well, I have no sympathy for you!  Not going to lend you my coat. 

In conclusion, clear heels and Rem-Pods do not mix AT ALL!  Sex sells in only one place:  The Porn Industry.  Let's keep it there, please?!