What To Expect At My Wedding

  Recently, my mother has been putting the pressure on me about the "M" word:  Marriage.  I have not been in a relationship in two years and so, you can say, my thoughts on relationships and marriage are mixed.  I do want to meet Mr. Right (not Mr. Right Now!) and be able to get married.  However, I have this constant fear and anxiety that I am going to get hurt all over again.  That I am going to think I am his "only one," but then it turns out I am just his "dirty little secret." 

  But, let's switch gears and focus on the day I do eventually take a walk down the aisle and say "I Do" and "He Does."

  First of all, my best friend is going to be my maid of honor.  She knows who she is!  As far as my bridesmaids go, I have the option of picking my five cousins or six great friends of mine.  Now, I know to not pick my cousins would be disrespectful to my family, but come on, it's MY day to shine!  I will have who I want in my bridal party, damn it!

  Second, my maid of honor and bridesmaids will wear whatever style they want.  However, it must be in the following colors: Black, White and Red.  They can wear a long dress, short dress, even a two piece suit if they wanted.  But in those colors ONLY!  If you wear Lime Green, I'm going to blow a gasket!

  Third, NO GOLD WEDDING RINGS!  I want either silver or black tungsten rings!  Gold is extremely gaudy!  If you show me gold, I will throw a fit faster than a hooker is offered $100 for her services! 

  Fourth, I want Mr. Right to meet me halfway up the aisle and take me by the hand to the altar.  We are embarking on this journey together so we might as well start at the altar together.  When I come up that aisle towards you, I will no longer walk alone as I take your hand and begin our life together.

  Fifth, when it comes to the vows, I want to make them completely special and intimate.  Nothing too mushy or lovey dovey, but just right for us.  Something we will always remember for years to come. 

  And lastly, your song to dance to with me BETTER, BETTER BE a Def Leppard song! 

  And with that said, this is what you are to expect at my wedding!