Is This Love That I'm Feeling?

  Recently, I have been taking a break from dating men and now I am giving this dating thing a try.  In addition, I had to sit down and regroup about the "L" word:  Love.  I thought I knew what it was and I thought I had it.  However, it turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing and it left my heart unable to show love for a long time.

  It was in this past year that I began to get out and make friends that I encountered this person.  This guy.  His name is Anonymous.  And for the first time in a long time, those feelings began to stir.  You know that feeling you get when your heart goes pitter patter.  You feel like the room is spinning.  Little things make you think about them.  All those things. 

  I started to think, "Hmm, did Cupid just shoot me in the ass??" 

  I have not made it known to this person, but I wish I could without sounding like a fucking idiot or some stupid teenaged girl.  I hate keeping it all bottled up inside!  I made it a goal to stop keeping my emotions and feelings bottled up.  I cannot take being quiet any longer!  Bottling up ends in 2012.

  So, here it goes:

To Anonymous,

  This is taking every single bit of my strength and energy to write this post.  I do hope that you understand what I am saying I am saying it from my heart and my soul.  Anonymous, I like you a lot and I am being serious about this.  Eversince I first met you, I have wanted to make a great first impression with you.  And I think I did.  The second time I met you, I wanted to catch your eye.  And I think I did, but not at the right moment.  The third time, I wanted to make you laugh.  And I think I did, or so I'd like to think.  The fourth time, I wanted to gain your friendship, but I know that's going to be a gradual process.  I know it's going to take time for you and I to become friends.  I know it's going to take even more time before ANYthing happens between us.  In addition, I know it's going to take a lot of trust and respect for ANYthing to happen between us.  I am willing to be patient on this and with you. 

  If I am not what you want or what you need at this time, I am more than understanding and am willing to admit defeat.  But know this, Anonymous, I know what my heart wants and what I said came deep from my heart.  As much as your rejection hurts me, I know that I am strong and willing to move on. 

  If I am what you want and need, it would make me the happiest woman in the world.  It would be my Halloween, Christmas and New Year's to know that I am the one you want.  And I give you this in return:  Loyalty, Honesty, Faithfulness, Love and Respect.  I will never, ever do you wrong or hurt you.  I will be honest in anything and everything with you, Anonymous.  I only want one thing out of you:  Your Happiness. 

  With Deep Respect,

  Nicole (aka Velma)



  Alright, now with this said, I ask myself:  Is This Love That I'm Feeling?