I have been driving a car nearly 14 years now. Like everybody at 17, I took the written test and passed. Took the driving test and passed. You can say I'm a seasoned driver of sorts. In my many, many drives around the country I began to take mental notes on certain types of drivers. Up till now, I have kept my mouth shut about them. But now, thanks to an "eventful" drive through the township where I work, I am now going to "air out" my feelings.
It is with regret that I must say that certain people should not possess a driver's license, let alone a PERMIT to drive one. As a matter of fact, these people need to be issued Restraining Orders from the Department of Motor Vehicles. They should not possess a license to drive AT ALL! I will not cite the following examples.
Where I work, I fear going out on Fridays for lunch. I choose to stay inside at my desk. What's the reason you ask? Well, the area I work is a large Jewish community and every Friday they start to prepare for the Sabbath. Saturday is their Sunday and our Friday is their Saturday. So everybody is rushing about returning their books, getting last minute food items or getting the last of their stuff done before sundown.
Now, how is this related to bad drivers? Well, when you're in a hurry to get home before the sun goes to bed, you tend to not pay attention to the road. Some of these drivers that are in this community that I've observed break pretty much almost every single driving law known to man. They speed through "STOP" signs like they weren't even there. They go around "Road Closed" barriers. They switch lanes WITHOUT signaling. In addition, they talk and text on their cell phones WHILE DRIVING! One day, I almost got hit four times: Coming to work, going out for lunch, coming back from lunch and when I leave at 5pm to go home. Scary, right?
This is the exact reason why I don't go out of the building for lunch on Fridays. I would love to go home and not be T-boned by some woman in an Econo-line van with two or three of her eight children not in their car seats while she does 75 mph down a 25 mph narrow street while talking on her cell phone. I drive a MINI! It would be like a bicycle taking on a Mack Truck! Not a beautiful outcome.
Another certain type of driver has got to be the elderly driver. Yeah, we have all encountered that one driver that we think is the World's Oldest Civil War widow behind the wheel of a car a hundred times larger than the person driving it. I know because I live in an area where they all live en masse. I've driven through it doing 25 mph and have gotten yelled at for going too fast. Well, why don't you do me a favor on the highway and GO FASTER! You're not in Happyville Village anymore! You can speed up! You can go beyond 25 mph on a highway where the speed limit is 65m mph! In some areas, 75 mph! PEDAL TO THE METAL, GLADYS! STEP ON IT, STANLEY! LIVE LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO DIE TOMORROW!! That last sentence rings true in this case.
Lastly, and thanks to my friend Trisha for pointing this out to me, we have the teenagers. Ahh! The fresh meat! The new breed of drivers out on the road. Heaven help us. Little Timmy just got his license and his parents hear those magical words: "Can I borrow the car?" This is when parents should take the license away from the teenager and keep it in a Safe Deposit box in a nearby bank until the kid is able to afford a set of wheels of their own rather than borrow yours. But, some parents are too proud that their bouncing baby boy or girl has grown up and learned to drive that they actually give in to letting them borrow the car. Guess what this sometimes leads to? They come back and you notice a dent that was not there before and a huge scratch on the driver's side.
At which point, you take the keys from them and you ground them for a year. That's what I will do someday if my once small child took my car and then proceeded to dent it and scratch it. These kids like to show off for their friends at how "great" they are at driving. They love to speed down suburban streets with Flo Rida and Cee-lo Green and T-Pain BLARING out the radio just to show how "gangsta" they are. You're not exactly "gangsta" in your mom's Prius, are ya, Corky?! Turn down the music, drive the speed limit and stop trying to act "gangsta." I was born in a family constantly affiliated with gangsters even though we were never part of "the family." That's the original gangster and this is how you spell it! Take out the "sta" and put back the "ster" and leave it alone!!
Have I missed out on any people that ought to have their driver's license taken from them? If so, please comment.
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