In Your Dreams: GAC Fan Girls, Stalkers, Whores and ZISHES

  Tonight, when I got home, I do what I always do.  I get dinner, get into my PJs and turn on my laptop.  I saw that I had messages from a friend of mine who instructed me to go to our group and check out what someone had posted.  So, I do so and what I read made me laugh hysterically till I pissed myself not once but twice.  And it also made me highly irritated that it inspired me to write this post. 

  This person, whom I have deemed to be a GAC Crazy, posted something called "Why I Love Zak Bagans."  Innocuous-sounding, right?  That is until I read through it and saw that she was crazy enough to actually DECLARE she wanted to marry him and live with him.  To this, I said to myself, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND TO BE POSTING THIS SHIT?!" 

  So, after my friend posted her comment, I went ahead and posted how I felt about it.  When I call people out, I do not do it nicely.  When I call people out, I make it known to them how I feel about their behavior.  For those of you that know me, my "Calling Outs" are both Cyanide-laced and Funny at the same time.  I hold nothing back and make no apologies for it whatsoever.  I used to give a shit about what I said to people, but then I discontinued the practice.  And I find that if I am going to keep it real, I might as well stop giving a shit about what I said. 

  So, anyway, I told this GAC Crazy that she was very delusional for thinking that she even had a remote shot at hooking up with Zak.  She had a better chance of hooking up with a Gorilla's nut sack than with Mr. Bagans himself.  I have met him quite a few times and have heard him say that he is definitely not the marrying kind.  As a matter of fact, I can't even picture him being domesticated at all.  I can never see him as one who will drive a Mini-Van full of Mini-Zaks to soccer practice or play dates.  Hell!  I can't even picture him singing "Hey Diddle Diddle" or "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."  Funny visual, right?

  I made sure that my message on Facebook came across clear and to the point.  I will not stand for any immature GAC Fan Girl behavior from anyone regardless of age.  If you have these fantasies about him, please do me and other mature people a huge favor:  Write it in a journal and keep it to yourself!  Don't air your Sickly Sweet Cheery fantasies out in the open!  You're just going to make yourself look fucking crazier than that homeless guy standing on the corner holding a sign that says "I'm Homeless!  Will Blow You For Food."

  I have been going to these public events for quite some time now and have learned very well who to trust and who to avoid.  A large majority of it has been avoiding, especially at the Meet and Greets.  One particular event, I took notice of this girl, most likely jail bait age, wearing the SHORTEST mini dress known to man.  So short you could've seen her Coochie Coochie Coo.  A good GAC Family member refers to them as "Whores," but other good GAC Family members have come up with a very accurate word for it:  ZISHES.  What does this stand for, you ask?  Make note...

Z = Zak

I = Is

S = Soooooo

H = HOT!

  Now, don't get me wrong, Zak is quite a handsome fellow.  He looks great on the outside and I think that's all these bitches are seeing.  They don't give a shit about what's on the inside.  As a matter of fact, their focus is concentrated not on his eyes, but what's below the Vampire Belt Buckle.  Yeah, you can entertain that thought for a while. 

  With that said, if you are a ZISH, please save me the aggravation and the late night Twitter messages and not follow me.  I will only call you out for what you truly are and block you before you can even get a word in edge wise.  Comprende?

  I think, and this is just my dead honest opinion, that the guys are not doing any more public events because of these GAC Crazies and ZISHES showing up to them.  They hope to meet them to show off their assets, or in some cases to show them how truly bat shit crazy they are in real life rather than on Facebook or Twitter.  To these GAC Crazies and ZISHES, I have something to say to this:  THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US!  For the ZISHES, go home, take off that dress and make up and go back to dressing normally for a change!  For the Crazies, go back to Pennhurst or Trans-Allegheney where you obviously came from and clearly belong! 

  And now with that said, I am going to go back to my normal existence and carry on as a Loving, Respectful member of the GAC Family.  True GAC Fans got my back on this one.

  And now a message from my Lord and Master, Foamy the Squirrel.