Okay, so I haven't necessarily been going out on dates a lot. As a matter of fact, my last date ended with a predictable outcome: He stood me up. Painful, yes. Learning experience, absolutely. However, since then, I have devised a list of rules of when I actually land that first date. Here's how it breaks down.
1) Let's arrange a time and place that benefits both of us. And if a situation should arise, let's rearrange it. Don't be a dick and stand me up, please. Be a man and own up to the fact you forgot Bowling Night out with your homies fell on the night we were supposed to go out. Then again, why not invite me along? I Love Bowling, too!
2) Make sure that the place we pick is a place we both like. I do not want to sit at Chez Oui Oui because I like it and you don't. Don't sit there making the "I So Want to Spit This Out" face in front of me while I am enjoying my Duck A L'Orange, okay? I mean, seriously! Did you order the Foie Gras to impress me or were you just curious? JUST SPIT IT OUT! Now let's go to TGI Friday's, stupid!
3) Dress comfortably for both our benefit. I do enjoy fine dining and dressing in our best. However, that is just if it's a wedding reception or very special occasion. For a night out, casual is totally acceptable. Jeans, nice shirt, nice blouse, etc. Don't show up for a night out to a haunted location wearing a penguin suit, please? You look like a waiter with an EMF Detector! Go change!
4) Do not feign having a good time and I won't do the same to you. If you think the date is going south, just say so and I will be more than accomodating and I expect it from you too.
5) Lastly, that good night kiss? I do not mind that your breath stinks. Just kiss me already! Garlic breath or no garlic breath! And if we have been dating long enough and the time and moment is right, who knows? Maybe you'll get lucky. ;-)
Enough said! So what are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?! Time for our date! LET'S GO!
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