My Sense Of Humor!

  Let's talk about the number one part of my personality:  My sense of humor.  I have a brand of humor that has been fashioned over the years to my specifications.  I have been honing my brand since I was a teenager and would entertain my friends at lunch and after school.  It has gotten better now that I am an adult and don't have to look over both shoulders to see if the teacher is around.

  I find humor in the littlest of things that grace my path in life.  And that's a shit load of things.  I can look at particular signs, read them wrong and I'd laugh at it.  One day, I read a sign that said "Pop n Spray" when I thought it said "Poop n Spray."  There is truth in advertising for ya!  Another time, going to lunch I looked up at a marquee sign and saw "Charlotte's Web" spelled out "Charlottees Webb." First off, the person who put this up obviously was the first out at their school's spelling be.  Second, it sounds like a ghetto version of said storybook. 

  I find humor in people just opening their mouths and speaking.  There are occasions when people say something and they sound completely sincere.  However, to me, they don't sound sincere at all.  They just sound, as George Carlin so eloquently put it, stupid, full of shit and fucking nuts.  George applied all three to Dan Quayle so I am applying it to all of the GOP candidates this election season.  And I am not leaving Palin out of this equation too!  And some guys that tried to hit on me while I am working!

  I find humor in food, too.  Yes, there can be humor found there.  Here's the story!  I went to the grocery store and when I am in the grocery store I shop around even though I am only in to pick up one item.  So, I go down the International food aisle.  Lo and behold, a vast MECCA of humor to be found.  I pick up this bottle of seasoning and I noticed it had a funny name.  Then again, not exactly funny, but more like "What the fuck?!"  It was "COCK-FLAVORED SEASONING."  I had to rub my eyes because I thought they were out of focus.  But I turned back and it was still on the label.  THUD!  I was on the floor I was lauging so hard.  What would that taste like, you ask?  To this I say "YOU try it!  I'm not touching it!  Nor would I want that on my burger either.

  Another humorous food find.  I had the chance to go to London and this was my first time going so I was extremely excited.  My hotel is situated near a small food shop (aka Convenience Store to us Yanks) and, one night, after I had finished shopping in Knightsbridge I was walking back and I looked in the window.  There was a line of Pringles sitting on the ledge.  So I took notice of the different flavors.  Prawn Cocktail, Texas BBQ, Sour cream and onions, Bacon, it went on.  But what was particularly funny when I took notice of the cans is that underneath them was the label "Suitable for Vegetarians."  So I took a look at the flavor "Bacon" and back down at "Suitable for Vegetarians."  Something's not right here.  Re-read the story and you will catch my drift eventually.

  In conclusion, I find humor in just about anything and I twist it around, season it up and serve it to you straight.  Hehe...straight.