Old School Jersey Girl: The Last of a Dying Breed (Part One)

  I was born and bred in New Jersey, as most of you already know.  But, I am not that kind of Jersey Girl.  When I mean by "that kind," I mean THAT kind.  I am not like what you see on shows like "Jersey Shore and "Jerseylicious"  Nope, not like that at all!  I don't wear mini-dresses that show off my cooch when I fall down drunk.  I am not a fan of spray tans.  I don't put on pounds and pounds of make up.  I also do not get into random, catty, drunken fist fights. 

  My appearance is normal.  I wear a dress to special occasions and when I fall down drunk I keep my cooch as heavily covered as possible.  I did, at one point, enjoy tanning beds until I was forewarned to discontinue going.  I got a "Free Session" for a spray tan, but I saw the results beforehand and was, quite frankly, horrified.  This girl, god bless her, had a gorgeous body.  But she was a green wig away from resembling an Oompa Loompa.  I wear make up in moderation, bare minimum being just lipstick.  When I get drunk, I sing.  I don't turn to some random chick and accuse her of sleeping with my man.  Nor do I have the urge to stick my tongue in her mouth nor dry hump her.  Yeah, I caught an episode of "Jersey Shore." 

  To me, "Jersey Shore" is like a horrible car wreck on the highway:  You don't want to look as you're passing through, but you're tempted to do so.  Shows like this make people like me who ARE from New Jersey want to vomit.  It also makes me want to throw stones at the MTV and other networks for degrading my home state with this TRASH.  This isn't real at all about us Jersey Girls!

  Someone needs to deliver a message to these networks and tell them to stop coming up with shows that just further degrade, humiliate and mortify the good citizens of New Jersey, especially to those of Italian-American descent.  Did you ever notice that?  Most of these crackpots are either of Italian or Hispanic descent!  Snooki, believe it or not, is not Italian BY BIRTH!  She may be Italian BY NAME, but not biologically!  MTV, can you please do me a favor, in addition to discontinuing degrading my state, can you stop dragging down my heritage as well?!  Think you can do that, huh?!  I can understand appealing to young people, but this has gone way too far.