Whorebots and Passion Parties

  As you all know, I am on Twitter almost every single day.  Now, it's not like I don't get excited when I have new followers, but there are certain types of followers that I get that are quite ridiculous, but also quite hysterical as well.  However, there is one follower, if you want to call them that, that seems to drive me insane. 

  That follower is called a "Whorebot."  What is a Whorebot, you ask?  It's this follower with an outrageously sexy-sounding name which you think you've never heard before.  And in their profile picture it shows either a really voluptuous woman or two blonde babes tongue kissing each other.  And it's always the same picture, but under a different name.  In addition, they all have the same profile description.  Here are what some of them say:

"I hope to fuck on the moon next summer."

"I love to fuck."

"We love to fuck and we don't fucking care."

"I use cucumbers as a dildo."


  Alright, that last one was a bit out there, but you get what I'm talking about, right?  Well, it seems whenever I mention anything of a sexual nature that I get followed by these mystery women who love to fuck apparently.  And I go about the normal means because I know these people don't exist:  I report them as spam and block them.  Then, just minutes, hours and even days later I get followed by a different name, same profile picture.  Block!  Block!  Block!  Block! BLOCK! 

  To any Whorebots who are "reading" this post, I have one request:  STOP FOLLOWING ME!  I am not interested in your obsession about wanting to fuck on the moon or on Uranus by next summer.  If you think about it, any pornographic film that wishes to actually be made on any planet or any moon has to have a film budget as big as the movie "Avatar."  In addition, it's going to be damn near impossible to have an orgasm in space.  Because in space NOBODY can hear you scream, "Oh, yeah, baby, HARDER!"  And how the fuck are you going to breathe outside your space suit, Valeria VonSpewCunt XXX?!  Isn't it scientifically known that if you were in Outer Space without oxygen every molecule in your body would explode?!  Oh wait, you're a bot, you don't read! 

  Moving on...

  Another follower I am getting, which I don't mind getting followed by, are the representatives of these companies that host Passion Parties.  Now, some of you are right now giggling at this.  Some of you are wondering what Passion Parties are.  Let me explain what they are to you. 

  They are kind of like a Tupperware party, but the things that are being sold are things that are not keeping last night's Meatloaf fresh.  As a matter of fact, it's keeping things fresh in a very different kind of department.  It's keeping your relationship with your significant other fresh in the Intimacy Department.  What is being demonstrated at these parties are the following items:

1)  Dildoes

2)  Vibrators

3)  His and Her Lubricants

4)  Pocket Pussies (Yes, Men have Passion Parties too!)

5)  Lotions


  I had the chance to go to one of these Passion Parties hosted by my cousin.  Now this was my very first one so I was all nervous because I didn't want anybody to know what turned me on in THAT area.  So when the time came to "handle the merchandise," I was holding back a shit load of giggling because what was being passed around was something other than Tupperware.  And I love how they don't call it a "Vibrator!"  They refer to them as "Massagers."  I'm serious!  They hand me this pink VIBRATOR and I am trying to work the speeds on it.  I press the wrong button and it starts twirling and lighting up.  I start cracking up laughing and I pass it on to the next person in line.  Then they began to demonstrate something called "Bullets."  I had never seen them before and when I found out what they did and where they went, I immediately passed on "trying it out."  The last thing they passed around was a purple gel Dildo, which didn't look like much fun.  Then again, it's just limp and flopping around.  Kinda like the real thing. 

  So, what is my verdict on Passion Parties?  Sex is natural.  We all do it.  Why not try and spark it up a little?  So I say it's a go.  Enough said! 

  And if you ask me if I actually bought anything at this party, I have this to say:  What I bought is between me and my host.  None of your business.