Saturday, December 10, 2011

If You Can't Fix Stupid, Can You Fix Crazy??

  In recent months, I have been encountering nothing but crazy people gracing my path.  Then, recently, it came to me.  They say that you can't fix stupid.  Does this apply to crazy, too?  Well, the answer, in my honest opinion is, you can but it only deals with the symptoms and not the root cause.  Because of all this madness and hysteria, and thanks to Gabriel Iglesias on this one, I have created a Levels of Crazy chart.  I am now going to give you both a level and a story behind its conception...or inception.  Whatever!

1)  Completely and Utterly Immature.  At an investigation at Ohio State Reformatory, I encountered this person who seemed okay, but was, in my opinion, the above level.  One, she sang NINE drunken karaoke songs to get attention.  Two, she rode around INSIDE of a shopping cart at the local Wal-Mart.  Three, because two guys would not talk to her and refused her gift of beer, she began sniffling and crying like a 5-year-old with a skinned knee.  Thank god, this person has been banned from future events and from my Facebook and Twitter life. 

2)  Extraordinarily Immature.  Now, there's this person, who used to be a good friend of mine, but then I realized that she is turning everything that is being said to her as something to take personally.  For instance, one day, she began to talk about someone having a girlfriend and it had upset me to the point where I had to actually start re-taking medication.  When I told her that, she took it so personally that she created mass hysteria and that she no longer wanted to be on Facebook and created Shakespearean-In-Magnitude DRAMA that I had to pacify her and calm her down.  Much to my annoyance.  Finally, after confirming with others, it turned out she created nothing but DRAMA.  In order to avoid further DRAMA from her, I had to unfriend and block her from my Facebook page.  She would later go on to create DRAMA for my friend, causing her to do the same.  Thus the inception (or conception) of this level.

3)  Complete Nutters.  Again going back to Ohio State Reformatory, I encountered this person whom I thought was friendly, seemed that way.  As it turned out, her reputation, as far as I knew, had not yet preceded her.  As a matter of fact, I think its flight was delayed that night.  It wasn't until I told a friend about this person that I was told the true nature of the beast.  This person claimed that she can read minds and was under the delusion that someone was in love with her and that another was jealous of this.  Something completely untrue.  Therefore, I had to unfriend, block and unfollow this person whom I thought was a friend, but turned out to be a con artist and the following titled Level of Crazy.  Aftermath:  She blamed my friend and at a recent investigation told vicious crap about me.  Listen, BITCH, I know what you said and, if you cross my path, I am more than prepared to burn your ass for what you said.  Love and light!

4)  Off The Charts Nuts.  This person I was friends with and thought I was doing something good.  Turns out it backfired on me, or so it seemed.  Turns out that she seemed to like the DRAMA and the attention of people feeling sorry for her.  Munchausen-By Proxy at a different angle.  I thought I was being friendly, but she soon turned out to be a proverbial demon whom others have blocked out because she had not only stolen from them but has made it all personal.  In addition, this person has made threats of harming herself unless someone talked to her.  There is something called a "social life" and it comes in handy.  Therefore, you are given this Level of Crazy for a very good reason.  Demon, BE GONE!

  Now that you have read up on these four Levels of Crazy, please feel free to use them and start sorting out your Facebook or Twitter friends from these.  And if I failed to call out any form of crazy, please comment. 

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