What I Want For Chrismukkah?

  People sometimes ask me this question, but then again others ask me what I want for Christmas.  When I tell people that I celebrate something called "Chrismukkah" they look at me as though I have something on the corner of my mouth.  Some will ask me what that is and then I have to explain myself. 

  I am a product of an Interfaith relationship.  My father is Jewish and my mother is Catholic.  Yeah, quite the mix!  As a child, my mother never divulged this information to me until I turned 12 years old.  Time for my Confirmation, right?  Not exactly!  You're gonna get your Bat Mitzvah first and then your Confirmation.  This was a shocking moment for me!  Someone who went to a Catholic church, attended a Catholic school and went through all the Catechisms and is expected to make her Confirmation gets this Matzoh Bomb dropped on her.  I now had to learn Hebrew, read the Torah, get a Tallit (prayer shawl) and have this huge party that was attended by mostly Catholics and one Rabbi.  Oh, and there was also a Catholic priest there too!  Talk about a Clash of The Religious Titans. 

  Now, Catholics celebrate Christmas while those of the various stages of Judaism celebrate Hanukkah.  From the age of about 16 on up, I began to combine the two and thus my Chrismukkah tradition was born.  So I now have a Christmas tree and a menorah out every single holiday season.  So I have one holiday where I find myself paying a huge friggin' electric bill and one holiday where I am saving money on said bill. 

  Christmas, I get a multitude of gift, but only on one day. 
  Hanukkah, I get a gift for eight days. 

  Christmas, we celebrate with Spiral Ham, Lasagna or some sort of Italian cheese dish.  Hanukkah, we get latkes, mozzarella sticks and anything which you can deep fry in oil. 

  Christmas, we celebrate by playing with presents we'll eventually grow bored with and no longer play with. 
  Hanukkah, we play with dreidels for eight days until we get bored with it on the third day. 

  Christmas, we watch the 24 hour marathon of "A Christmas Story" on TBS.
  Hanukkah, we watch every single movie made by Adam Sandler, including "Eight Crazy Nights."

  Christmas, we celebrate the birth of our dear savior.
  Hanukkah, we celebrate the miracle of oil lasting more than the one night.

  Christmas, we go to Midnight Mass.
  Hanukkah, we go to the Friday Night Shabbat at the Temple.

  And with all these different things comes the big "C" word:  Confusion!  It's around this time of year that I get so confused that I don't know whether to string lights on the Menorah or light the first Tree. 

  People would tell me why not just celebrate one or the other.  Here's my answer:  I am being respectful towards my parents' religion and it would kill me for them to know I chose one over the other.  And now I made it obvious that I got the Jewish Guilt Slinging from my father's side of the family.  Oy vey!

  So I celebrate Chrismukkah and now what do I want?  Nothing.  I already got it!  My GAC Family and Friends.  I got Ghost Adventures Crew, Darkness Radio, Jeff Belanger, Chris Fleming, Mark and Debby Constantino, Aaron Sagers and more.  Just your friendships is all I want.  Oh, and a shopping spree at Barney's New York.  And a second MINI Cooper, preferably a Convertible.  But I'm going to let Santa Claus take care of that bit.